Emotional Salad

I am an emotional salad today. It's not fun.
There's a little bit of everything, and it's all tossed together:

peace
happiness
crankiness
depression
humor
frustration
etc.

I feel bipolar in the way I can be calm and exuding peaceful vibes but then explode the instant I discover I've walked into a puddle of pee in the bathroom. There goes that happiness, in comes utter frustration (accompanied by a battle of trying to help Ender understand WHY it is not cool to pee on the floor just to take a bath...while Scarlett cries, desperately hungry...and I have to change my now pee-soaked pajama pants). It's almost warthog level. But warthog level doesn't have confusing moments of joy or bliss. I almost prefer that to this emotional toss-up (spin the wheel, what will it land on?) because I at least get what's going on.
And no, it's not something I can blame on birth control. (Although I CAN blame it on my period...oh that lovely Monthly of mine).
:'( I've been stressed. This week, my milk supply has suffered. Not exactly sure why, but I think I can pin it on forgetting to eat (honest, I'm not trying to miss meals), being stressed with Ender's recent renewal of whining and wetting, being stressed with what seems to be teething for Scarlett already...and not getting enough sleep, at all. I think part of Scarlett's discomfort is that my milk wasn't as plentiful, but she really does have the symptoms of teething, along with a little hint of tooth under the gums.
In my pumping this week, I've managed to get 2 oz in 20+ minutes (4 oz. when I did it in the morning once) instead of my used-to-be-usual 6+ oz. in about 10-15 minutes. This is too early to dry up...I just can't stand the thought of drying up yet! Nursing has gone so well this time...
I've read up some ideas to get the milk coming back. Nursing less frequently (you'd think otherwise, but I was going at it every hour thinking she was going through a growth spurt). Normally, I'd think nursing more often would help give my body the signals to make more milk. That's just how it works. But doing it so frequently, my body never really had the chance to make enough for Scarlett each time (which was hard for her), and she wasn't getting the better, nutrient-rich milk like she should have. I'm also pumping every night again. And I'll take my dietary supplement Lactation Ease, even though that's not the same as straight fenugreek. And we're praying...

I don't like feeling so unpredictable with my emotions. :( I'm not even sure exactly why I want to share all of this except that maybe there will be some comfort in reaching outside the walls of my house today.

Oh, haha. I just realized a joke in all of this. I'm calling myself an emotional salad...but aha, salads are good for us, aren't they.
That's not really what I want to hear.
But I'll try to learn from all of this.
I can't WAIT for Saint Husband to rescue me this time with his unfailing magic...

He DID Care! ...and 200?

Remember this recent post? Guess what. A week later, while driving to pick up Michael, Ender announced, "Mommy, we're too far. Will you say a prayer?"
:) He got it! He did learn the lesson!
Of course, I had to explain that we were not lost this time, but we had a nice conversation about how we can always pray for help when we are lost (and that when we are not lost, we can pray again that we're thankful).
That just about made my day. I said my own little prayer of gratitude that Ender had actually paid attention.

Oh. Woops...apparently, this is my 200th post, and I had something cool planned for that. But on my blogger home page, it says I only have 198 posts. Maybe I'll go by that number...erm, in the meantime, Yay! Congratulations to me, and Thanks to you! My blog is now Mature (hehe!).
Here's what I wrote for the 100th post. Did I maybe not notice it was the 100th? Because why would I choose to celebrate potty training as my 100th post? And if I'm wrong and the 100th post was actually the next one, I really couldn't have known, because there I'm talking about my bad-mommy-ways and bemoaning a day-long poop catastrophe while struggling to maintain my wits. REALLY? But...but...then I missed it! I never noticed when the 100th came and went!
*sigh* It's probably not a big deal to anyone else (psh, 100? Piddly), but it makes me proud to blog. I love blogging. So it's an accomplishment. Which means! My 200th post will bring about a change to my blogworld!

At least, if this one isn't the 200th. Seriously, Blogger's a little off with its math.
(For the record, I'm quite certain this IS the 200th post, but I'm not exactly ready yet, so I'm pretending I agree with the home page).

August Creation

I almost feel like I should let that last post settle, you know? Give it breathing space. Because I think it's incredible. I keep coming back to it.

As expected, in August I did not try to be Martha Stewart with any creations. :) I simply rearranged the furniture so that Ender and Scarlett can share a room and have the other bedroom freed up for my sewing machine and bookcases and the TV. Nothing fancy! Although, it was sweat-inducing work.

So here's what you get to see... my messy house! :D It's not terrible, but it's not camera-worthy. Everything was clean after the arrangement, but I've obviously taken so long to even mention my August Creation that there was plenty of time for that to change (we all know it only takes moments, don't we).

There's Scarlett waving her hand in her crib!

Ender didn't want me to take a picture because his hair isn't spiky. Hah! 

I didn't want to take a picture because there's stuff all over the dressers! Including a weensy bundle of a diaper. Yes. The diaper genie is full (plus, I was lazy about it--that's the deeper truth).

But my laundry is folded, so it's not the worst mess to capture in a picture, is it! :)