Friday, December 16, 2011

Take That, Staring Men!

Hi, guys! Wow, I've missed blogging!

But between internet problems, the end of a semester, two kids, and making Christmas presents, it's no wonder I've been absent.

I have had something sticking to my brain that I have to share, though.

When I go to the pool, men stare at me.
Even when I'm with Michael. Like, very obviously WITH Michael.

And, sadly, this is the reaction I've gotten since high school. Men stare at me. So my tactic has always been to ignore them, not give them my attention except for some angry looks.
But you know what? That won't stop them. I've realized that ignoring them simply gives them permission to keep staring.
And that makes me angry.
Like, if I could illustrate how angry it makes me, it would look kind of like this:
Plus some fire.

So upon realizing that ignoring is not the way to go, I determined I would never be so passive again. 
The next time I went to the pool, I was only lucky---no wait, HE was only lucky that Mr. Staring Guy of the Day was on the other side of the window in the gym. As soon as I caught him staring, I sent fiery darts at him, silently snarling my loathing disgust. 

He kept staring. 
And kept staring. 

As I furiously thrust through my laps, I began think-praying. Basically, I was rationalizing to Heavenly Father that it wouldn't be so naughty to flip him off for staring at me. After all, how else would I get the message to him if he wouldn't STOP? I was ready to do it. Guiltlessly. 
But when I came back, he had moved to another machine (from which he could barely peer through the window) (but he was still trying). I thought "Oh...yeah...well Heavenly Father is doing us both a favor, I guess." 

And I grumpily finished my swimming. 

When I recounted this to my papa, he said "I know something you can say next time a guy does that to you."
I listened eagerly. 

IF YOU DON'T STOP STARING AT ME, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT SO HIGH BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF TO POOP.

Yeah. 
>:D
Now I can't wait to catch some jerk staring...

4 comments:

  1. LOL...I think I USED to have that problem... However I so wish to be a fly on the wall the very moment you get to say that...but it would have to be a fly that could laugh and give you a high five because I'd have to do both of those so maybe a fly isn't the thing...guess it would have to be Spiderman...yeah, I wanna be Spiderman...

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  2. You know while I don't want your problem I wish I looked so good everyone had to stop and stare. Now you should be able to find and follow me

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  3. HAHAHHAHAH!!! Dad!!! That's really, really funny. :)

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  4. Dad Boatright said that?? LOVE it!

    And I echo Rose's sentiments: I kind of wish I could turn heads like that, even though I'm grateful at the same time that I don't have to worry about it.

    But really, I love your father. And there's a teeny tiny part of me that is proud that I have such a gorgeous friend that people notice her. BUT I also feel a little protective of you, too.

    I have the same conflicting emotions about the girl in Puebla who wanted so badly to marry Brian a couple months ago that they had to transfer him out of the city in a hurry: Pleased that other girls can figure out how great he is, but irritated that they're trying to mess up his mission. :)

    I've missed you blogging. Welcome back. ^_^

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