Have you ever seen a Senior Cat be miffed at the introduction of a New Kitty?
You know how sometimes when you have two goldfish so they can keep each other company they just swim around, bored with life, and somehow manage to avoid each other even in that little bowl?
Hmph. Today I wanted my own space. And...if I'm not a dunce at reading body language, so did Michael's mom. I wouldn't say the hackles were raised, no--but our personal space bubbles were a little more imposing than usual.
So I sat down at my harp. Mostly to look more useful than sitting down at the computer or the TV or my book.
I stumbled through a berceuse, which was not really depressing, but not really inspiring, either. The arpeggios just sounded like some maudlin soap opera.
So then I played Passacaille. But I think maybe I had some little anger issues? Because it was booming right from the start. And I LIKED it. >:) Too bad if the few people home thought I was strangulating the harp. It felt SO good.
And honestly, it was pretty beautiful. I have to admit. It felt pretty cool to let my fingers whoosh back and forth over the strings.
I finished with an uproarious slash of a chord (a HUGE one, reaching all across the harp).
And I didn't muffle.
My fingers smarted just a little. Whenever I play like this I have the image of a smoking gun in my mind--and sometimes I really do blow on my fingertips (my fervor is probably the reason they put me with the 300+peopled band that one year...surely the other harpist wasn't better than me? Oh no, I'm not bitter*).
The piece served its purpose. My homesickness, both for my own place and my childhood home, abated. For a while at least.
I miss the way my mom listened to me practice from her study. She'd comment once in a while (or sigh at the close of a song--very flattering). I also miss her hugs.
*yes I am. I conquered that Capriccio Espagnol cadenza! It was my dream to play it! And she played an altered version! On a smaller harp! With no passion! GAAAAAHHH!!!!! I still remember her flowery harp name. Olyvia Dellagardelle. Yeah.