I just had to laugh!
While sitting through the Rexburg Tabernacle Orchestra's concert until it was time for me to play, I noticed a boy--eleven years old at least--in the audience rummaging through his nostrils. I peered closer to see if he was, indeed, serious about this search of his. I got quite a little show! I pursed my lips to refrain a laugh as his eyes shifted back and forth, making sure the coast was clear *is that a sailor's phrase?* before he surreptitiously slid his finger from his nose to his mouth. My eyes grew big. "NO! Is he really doing it?!" I watched with glee as he munched. Once the task was complete, he cozied up to his mom or sister. Only, he wasn't done. His finger made a few more trips from his nose to his mouth, and I finally laughed! I was lucky enough it came during a great crescendo in the music.
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Sometimes I feel guilty when I don't feel well. Because it's so often, I think I must be some kind of hypochondriac to always have something going on. So guilty that it drives me to silence, hoping the pain is simply overrated by my oversensitive level of pain tolerance. Why am I so disturbed by it? Why worry?! Maybe it's plain old GAS! But a little thought teeters across my focus, a frazzled ant lost in a forest of grass: Is this what an ulcer feels like? Ibuprofen can give you ulcers if you don't eat it with food! Is that another kidney stone? Tylenol makes those worse, and you're susceptible now that you had them so long with Ender. I hate medicine. Should I take some to make myself feel better? This is aggravating!
Most of the time I just wipe it out and go on without any conclusion to the matter. It's annoying to be in pain, and since I am so often, I just ignore it.
In fact, I don't even know why I wrote this paragraph. I'll leave it in case I figure that out later.
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A couple posts ago, I wrote "I DON'T DO STRESS." If you were to imagine my voice declaring this, it's important to me that you would realize I say it as a matter of fact. A strong fact, but not in some kind of commanding tone as if I were trying to convince myself of it.
At a Mary Kay meeting, our director actually said that phrase casually, in passing. But it truly struck me as a powerful mindset! Of course stress is a choice! Why didn't I realize that before? I decided right then, "Well I don't either!"
It's not meant to be a way of saying "I don't cope with stress" or "I just walk away from problems."
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Do you remember those times as a kid when you're looking forward to an event and you begin to imagine what it will be like? It's so exciting to get there and finally see what it's all about, and surprising sometimes when you see how different it is from how you thought it would be. I feel childish in my excitement for a Mary Kay retreat this weekend! And the only thing I feel nervous about...is...nah, I don't feel nervous. Hm. That's nice!