"Doctor, my shoulder hurts when I do stuff."
"Well, then, don't do stuff!"
A very, very long time ago (not) in a land called the Burg of Rex, a young-at-heart and young-in-age woman woke up on the wrong side of her bed. Or was it...just sleeping on her wrong side on the right side of the bed? As in her own side? On the proper side of the bed?
She waited for many years (or weeks--alright, about a month or two) for her shoulder to get better. Unfortunately, she couldn't just sit still while she waited. So her shoulder got worse.
She still had to lift the little mancub, who weighed something less than 30 lbs. She still had to practice her 88 lb. harp, balanced between her knees and right shoulder. She still had to haul baskets of laundry up a winding staircase all the way to the tippy tower of the castle (wait, she's not a princess, oops! Let's call it a chateau). And yes, even folding the laundry and brushing her hair and doing something as simple waving hurt. Pretty soon the pain spread from one shoulder to the next, slipping down her spine and firing up her neck.
What was she to do?
She tried stretches with Sir Joseph Pilates who was not of the Burg of Rex. She tried sleeping on her back. That was torturous, by the way. Her brain would not shut off in that position. She felt cold lying there, "unable" to curl into a rolly-polly ball for warmth. So she used a heating pad and eventually fell into deep sleep. When she awoke, she found that the sleep must have been the wrong kind because it did nothing for beauty. And she couldn't get up! To the left side, to the right side, straight up--she hardly budged off her back! Oh, it was an annoyance. (Obviously, she eventually did get up--but with excruciating pain in the effort). What a pity.
What else could she do?
Two answers hid in the back of her mind. They seemed too much to ask.
Masseuse? Chiropractor? The former would be $30 for half an hour. The latter $25 for the first visit (and the oh-so-young yet not-so-young-in-the-shoulder woman could only hope the first visit would take care of everything). What a bad thing to beg... but what else was she to do?
Oh, I'm just kidding. I wanted to talk about how my shoulder hurts, but I wanted to do it without complaining. ;)