Last night I was really stressed in my dream. I was trying to apply for school at the same time as Michael and just had a rotten mood about everything. And then in the dream, I tried to look over at someone. I must have tried to in my sleep, too, because I suddenly woke up to immense pain.
I don't usually cry from pain. I can name just a few events:
- Getting my eye wapped by a coat hanger (foggy vision, had to see a doctor who told me my contact was dirty and infected my eye. Whatever).
- Kidney stones...extreme. Really, really, really extreme.
- Giving birth (except I really liked that, and I only cried when I was done, so that's kind of different)
- And last night!!!
I was sleeping on my back like a good girl. I had Michael read his book aloud to me to make the time go faster and keep my brain from bouncing around my head. I fell asleep to his voice. ;) I think that's Romantic. Anyway, when I woke up--still on my back--my head was turned to the side a little. It hurt. But it hurt worse when I tried to turn it, either more to the left or to the right at all. I had to use my right hand to turn my head, because the neck muscles wouldn't budge in the face of so much pain, and my left shoulder hurt so much that I didn't "like" moving my left arm. I felt so stuck, I couldn't help but cry! Hurt, hurt, hurt!
It was probably 4am. I'm lucky that Michael cannot fall asleep while reading. He was at page...oh, 500 or something of Harry Potter 7. I love that about him, by the way. So Michael was immediately at my side and talking to me and bringing me some medicine. He helped me sit up for a moment to chug down some pills, after which I begged to lie down again so the pain would stop spreading down my spine. He gave me a blessing (yeah, that's Mormon talk, but whatever, just ask me if you don't know).
The pain didn't disappear immediately, but it seemed to shrink. The pain condensed itself to a spot between my shoulder blades, allowing me to finally relax a bit. I whispered to Michael here and there over about fifteen or twenty minutes before I finally fell asleep again.
So! This morning, I scheduled a chiropractor visit. Can't quite afford the masseuse yet. ;) The doctor was so kind to us. That $25 per visit fee is actually quite incredible. And it was kind of fun to be clicked and popped around.
Here's what was going on (we guess): I have always had somewhat tense shoulders from playing the harp since forever. I sit slightly to the left when I play, stressing my shoulders a tiny tiny tiny bit. While I had full usage of my shoulder for years, the "stress" built in little bits until my usage/ability went from 100% to perhaps 80%, at which point I began to feel some strain. That percentage shrank more and more until I couldn't really do much at all.
It's not all from the harp, that's just our best guess. It probably escalated with sleeping in cramped positions, hauling huge laundry loads up and down stairs, lifting Ender into his high chair and moving my harp all by myself (gee, shame on me for being so wonderfully independent). HAhahha... basically, for continuing on as though nothing happened. Because I thought nothing had.
You should have seen the doctor's face when I said I had a headache about once or twice a day. Shocked big eyes. I thought "oh...that's bad, isn't it." We talked about my messy hip situation and lumbar scoliosis. He is a very kind and helpful doctor. I felt so taken care of!!!! THANK YOU, Doctor W.! Thank you SO SO SO much!!!!!
I'll be going back Friday and a few more times until everything's resolved. My neck was tight before my nap (isn't that nice? I relaxed today). My back is a little tired, and I had to cut my harp practice short, but I feel incredibly better. I will continue to sleep on my back as long as I can bear it, I think. Better for the body, darn it. I'm trying to just enjoy the moments of daydreaming while I wait to fall asleep.
I came up with a pretty fun daydream the other night; I was filthy rich, so I could afford to call up all my sisters and arrange to have us all fly to London for a professional bra-fitting at the wonderful Bravissimo store (whjch is only in London, that's why). I guess that's more exciting to me than it would be to my sisters, but who cares. In my daydream we were all excited anyway because I was paying for babysitters, and we were going to stay for a week and shop for super stylish European clothing and eat delicious food (at French restaurants probably, because all the Londonese food I've ever tasted was barfalicious at its best - sorry, Rianne, I'm just not built for it!). I would pay for everything, including a glorious hotel room with everything you'd want. We'd maybe even travel away from London, why not? What a fun daydream. I'd love to spoil all my sisters like that.
One scene I couldn't resist popping into the daydream was walking down an avenue with shops all along it, bundled up warm against the grey, beautifully sharp cold...with a hot, chocolatey Belgian waffle rolled in a napkin, warming my hands. That memory comes from Belgium, but I think of it anytime I miss Europe at all. I miss those waffles. I even miss the roasted chestnuts on equally wintry days. I miss walking around those old, cobbled streets. I miss having all my sisters in one spot with me.
It was a nice daydream with which to fall asleep.