Daddy's Little Girl

Some pictures of my papa:

Old pictures from October Conference 2008

All my life, I have known I have a special place in my papa's heart. When I came to him with a question or just wanted to hang out, I felt like he was so pleased to have my company. I felt like I was his buddy, and sometimes I even imagined I was his favorite daughter.
The coolest thing is that each of us five girls is his favorite daughter. My papa has a wonderful gift of being a father to daughters--we all get to be Daddy's Little Girl, and I believe we've all relished it.

My papa is gentle and generous.
I remember once telling him that I wished I could eat a whole bag of potato chips myself. He said he wanted that too, once, and the first thing he did when he got his license was go buy a bag of chips and eat them in the car, all by himself. But he said it wasn't as fun as he'd thought it would be...that sharing is, in fact, much more satisfying.
At first I found that hard to believe (really, potato chips!), but as I thought about it, I realized maybe it would be kind of boring to have it all to yourself. If it were one of those enormous bags.
When dinner was nearly cleared off the table, we didn't typically have leftovers that I can remember. And sometimes there would be one piece of something left, like the last drumstick (those were always everyone's favorite chicken part), and if my papa saw one of us eyeing that last piece as he reached for it, he'd offer it to us. Or sometimes, if everything was cleared, and we were looking woefully at the empty table, my papa would slip his last bit of food onto our plates as he got up to clear his place.

My papa never teases in ways that could hurt feelings (not ever on purpose, at the very least). He tried to be very considerate of our feelings. Once in a while he needed reminding from my mother that we were especially volatile in particular times of the month or about particular topics, but he did better than most men ever do. The only times I ever felt like he was being insincere on purpose was when we'd throw a little pity party to no effect, having only this response from him "Sor-ry!" He'd say it in a sing-song voice, kind of nasal and whiny, and he'd smile a little because he knew he was NOT sorry. And we'd huff and scowl and storm away. Sometimes even saying "No you're NOT sorry!" (and he'd quietly chuckle).
But you know what? That totally cracks me up now.

When I married Michael, one thing that definitely attracted me was his gentleness. To me, that is a sign of a real man. A man who is gentle is loving, considerate, Christ-like.
In the winter time when we were dating (courting), Michael would stomp down the snow in a path in front of me so that I'd have an easier time walking over it. He always gets the door for me; at first, I felt like that was unnecessary, and I tried to repay the favor by getting doors for him, but he explained that it is a privilege for him to treat me with courtesy and open doors for such a lady as me...so I have happily obliged ever since.
Michael gets up and fetches a glass of water for me if I ask, even if it's because I'm just too lazy after having barely settled into a comfortable position.
And in yucky times, Michael rubs my back and holds my hair out of the way while I throw up, even though he really has a hard time being around vomit.
Michael doesn't like to wake me up in the mornings, and it's not because I wake up badly (he'll tell you, I'm fairly friendly in the mornings...at least to him). He just likes to give me as much sleep as he can because he knows it's always needed.

And he is excited about our family-- he loves Ender, he loves being his father. He loves me as his wife and as the mother of his children. He loves to press my stomach and wait for this little darling to move (not yet!). And it melts my heart when he talks to her and tests the name "Scarlett Estelle."

These are just a few of the characteristics of Michael that make me so excited to have a daughter. She will definitely be Daddy's Little Girl.

Some Day My Girliness Will Come

*sigh*

I'm so ready to have a girl. And not like I'm already sick of being pregnant--no, I am totally loving it this time around, and I don't mind having ...uh, something like 24 or 25 weeks left.
But for our "lazy" time this evening, as a relief to the off-ful morning we had, I decided to pick a movie for Ender that would be something different from the usual (I'm kind of sick of his favorites right now) and something that would be completely disinteresting for me.

Snow White.

Well...Ender kept saying to me "Mommy...I don't want to watch this movie..." and I'd say "okay" but wait just long enough for him to get sucked back into it. And then again, a while later, Ender would say it again, looking a little helpless with his eyes glued to the screen (isn't this child abuse?)...until the very end, when he said "I didn't want to watch that movie."

Poor guy. He just isn't into the princess movies like I am. That and Snow White is SOOOO painfully dull.
So he gets to watch Cars. Which I hate. Which he loves. Because I'm sorry.

He is SO happy!

PS: for February, maybe I'll do something totally girly for my creativeness...I want to build a dollhouse already. Ahh, girliness. :)

PS2: Oh wait, wait, I forgot to, like, OFFICIALLY mention that this baby is a girl! Granted, it's early to know. But you know what? That was a really clear shot in the ultrasound. Pretty hard to mistake.

It's Called "One of THOSE Days," I Suppose

Are you okay with some moments in which I talk about a little self pity? It's all okay in the end...

This morning proved very tiring. Partially because I was already tired. (I don't sleep so well lately...plus I spent half the night sleeping in the armchair next to Michael while he did homework. I'm not sure that counts as really sleeping).
I've had a constant headache--thankfully it's kind of mild.
Ender and Audrey (I babysit her) took turns being cranky-- thankfully they took turns! Mostly, anyway.
To keep my mind off my selfish misery, I got busy doing my chores. I'm quite thankful I've done the dishes, put away the last bits of folded laundry (minus Michael's last batch of folded things because he said he'd do them, and I sure don't mind), tidied up the rooms, and...I don't know, I did stuff. I baked cookies. Kind of because if I didn't, I'd want to curl up and go to sleep with a pillow helmeting my head to keep out the sound of needy children. But I can't do that! No, of course not!
Ender felt contrary today, but he was not so bad. Audrey felt pretty bad, too, but don't we all sometimes? So I don't blame them. I just felt a little sorry for myself that TODAY was the day they had bad weather.

Kind of like no one else is allowed to have personal bad weather when I'M having personal bad weather. ;)

I cried for about two seconds today, completely in self pity (though it was brought about by an honest plea to Heavenly Father when I just prayer-blurted* that I needed help because I just felt SO tired and had a headache and, and, and...).
And then I just had to move on.

Anyway, now the day has simmered down. Ender FINALLY had his much-needed nap. Audrey has gone home with her mommy, and her tummy will probably be all settled tomorrow. And my chores are done...so I'm thinking it's time to be lazy with Ender. He will enjoy those cookies.
And maybe my headache will go away? And maybe I can get away with falling asleep while Ender and I watch a movie? Please???

*prayer-blurting: I guess I just mean those prayers that kind of pop out here and there in the day. I have them pretty often. I think a lot of moms do. At least, I hope they do. It helps to have a little help-line ready with no stupid hold music. Ha ha, that was cheesy. But I still meant it.

Madame Au Naturale

I've got to be honest: I feel just a little defensive when people say makeup is for those who aren't confident enough in the way they look naturally.

Because it's not true!

Dear Madame Au Naturale, here are some reasons I like makeup:

1. It is fun-- I feel artistic and creative with my palette of many colors. 
2. It is even expected; imagine going in for an interview to get a fancy job...you'd have better results from wearing makeup, even if you only wore foundation. Because it's quite similar to wearing nylons instead of going around with bare legs. It's dressed up. It's a woman's way of adding to the dress like a tie adds to a button-up shirt. It looks finished. And therefore, it impresses. Whether or not you are stunningly beautiful.
3. It builds confidence. This doesn't mean you lack confidence otherwise. Call it a mask if you insist on being an au-naturale-snootypants, but this mommypants appreciates a way to put my best face forward when my best face is kind of missing. This happens to mommies a lot. And if a lot of us mommies went out au naturale all the time, people would think we were ill or something because the tiredness and exhaustion of what we do tends to show up on our faces. 
4. When we look good, we can forget about ourselves. It's easier to pay attention to other people when we're not absorbed with thoughts of "Oh but my face is so nasty, why did someone have to knock on my door today?!"
5. It hides my zits (except for maybe the really vicious, volcanic ones that would take plaster for camouflage). Madame Au Naturale, I don't really care anymore that I still have zits. It doesn't plague my mind anymore the way it plagues my skin. But seriously, would you want to leave the zits hanging out and blaring like STOP signs if you really don't have to? Sometimes I do it more as a courtesy to others, I'm telling you!
6. Sometimes (heehee, want to guess how often?) I'd rather look more on the pretty side than the plain side. But guess what? My plain face? I can still find beauty in it. I know how to love my features as they are. I can love the look of ME, nothing but me. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to enjoy sprucing things up. 
7. It can be a compliment to others-- I love it when my husband comes home to see that I've "dressed up" for him. There are plenty of days that he's the only one who will see that makeup. But he appreciates it. *Sidenote: He also loves my au naturale face, so don't you dare begin to think he demands that I wear makeup. My husband is above such pettiness. He understands the sacrifice either way--a day where I felt too busy or felt no need to dress up, he gets it. A day where I wanted to look especially nice, he gets it. And he believes I'm beautiful either way. THAT'S a good husband.*
8. And this is meant with as little bitterness as possible, but...Madame Au Naturale should probably wear makeup too, sometimes, because she can look rather haggard herself. (Here's where her argument really explodes because her point is why does she have to be pretty. Um, she doesn't. But what about looking healthy? Or at least pleasant? It doesn't have to be taken as a brainwashed desire to please the world's ideal of women. It's just kind of healthy to take care of yourself, you know. And that can ought to include the way you present yourself.

So yes. I wear makeup. Yes, I will swipe on some mascara before going to the grocery store. Yes, I will spend a few extra minutes to perfect the shading on my eyelids. 

Because I like to, not because I have to.

Me with no makeup. Oops! Nope, I have some crusty mascara on from yesterday. Sorry.
More sorry it's blurry.

(And that's today's baby bump: 16 weeks)

Want to hear an awkward story? I was doing a Mary Kay party, and one woman said "My husband doesn't like it when I wear makeup. He doesn't like the way it tastes." 

*awkward silence* 

The other ladies raise their eyebrows and say politely "Oh?" (not necessarily wanting an answer).

She said "Yeah, he likes to lick my face." 

...meuh...TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

If You're Happy and You Know It...

*formatting...it's being crazy right now, can't fix it. And don't care to spend much time trying. :)

I read a hilarious blog, My Real Life Was Backordered, and in her latest post, she linked to an article that is definitely worth reading:

Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs

It was so interesting. Emily Matchar, the author, has very interesting insights as a feminist atheist...and sometimes it's funny, sometimes it sparks the desire for discussion... but all in all? I so enjoyed it. Which is kind of funny, because I guess I should be offended...but why? A lot of things she said are true of Mormon culture, and that's probably okay.
I don't actually have much to say about it, since I think the article holds itself together quite well the way it resolves, and DeNae wrote quite a funny post about it already. So I'm good.
But it does make me look at my blog differently; yes, it looks like I'm a typical Mormon blogger woman. And if so? Okay! Yeah, I have pictures of my latest sewing projects, I do things "on the side" to help earn income for my family, and my profile is the embodiment of a stereotypical Mormon fairytale...perhaps because my life is a stereotypical Mormon fairytale! ;) winkwink

I'm honestly happy, and I honestly love life. My blog isn't very special in the grand scheme of things, but I enjoy it, and hopefully others do too. I can be branded with all the generically happy Mormons, even though I know I'm different in some ways. That's fine with me because guess what? Michael and I agree this Emily Matchar has stumbled upon what I believe is an eternal principle, stated by Tolstoy in Anna Karenina:

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, Chapter 1, first line
Russian mystic & novelist (1828 - 1910)

January's Creations!

AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?! 

I love them. 

Don't tell Isaac about the lizard-- it's his late birthday present. :) 

He knows something is coming in the mail!

That's it for now! I have the most Killer of Killer Headaches, and being at the screen is not favorable.

Cavewomen Must Have Been NASTY

I don't have the energy to sit at the computer for very long (or the bladder stamina), so as much as I want to be a blogging maniac and post epic stories and all, this will be short.

I like to daydream, that's nothing new. But sometimes I daydream about what it would be like if I were stranded on a desert island. I should say deserted, because I like to stick variety in their sometimes and make it a wintry island. And sometimes the funnest part of all this is the really stupid details! So here's what I'd be like:

• REALLY REALLY hairy legs and armpits
• Blind...I would so miss my contact case and solution. Maybe even my contacts, if I were unfortunate enough to lose them on the way to being stranded. Hm. That's not a stupid detail.
• Really really tan, mmm. Yeah, if I were alone (or just with Michael...), I'd totally embrace nature and save my clothes so they'd be in nice condition for the day I'd get saved. Because seriously, who wants to be rescued with an atrocious farmer's tan?
• My hair? Forget awesome beach waves. After about three days, I'd look like those gross paintings of the English queens whose hair is plastered down on their scalps and combed so greasily that you can practically count each strand. Ew. 
• STINKY. I do not sweat much. I'm not a stinky person. But if you take me away from a shower for an extended period of time, you regret it. At least I'd be a good bug repellent.
• Zitty. It's sad. I'd love to look glamorous for the rescuers...too bad.
• My breath? This is a new category of STINKY. And you know how your teeth feel after you eat a banana? Kind of feathery? Well my teeth would have their own peel.
• Dirty fingernails...and long toenails! EW!!!
• And just remember, no makeup...which does matter to me. 
• No lotion! Aaaah! I hate the feeling of dried out skin!
• TOTALLY talking to my own "Wilson." Heck, I'd have a whole gang of them.

And Michael? He'd be black-tan plus a beard. His hair would get curlier. He'd stink, but he'd be pretty close to the same. Men have it easy.

It's not fair!!!

Perfectious 2011

I love a New Year.
New Year's Day is my birthday-- which is so tidy and logical that my brain is absolutely pleased to be the same age for an entire year, uninterrupted. Best birthday date EVER! :D
The fireworks? They're for me. If you didn't know, now you do. The world is celebrating!
And the world feels a renewed desire to try harder, be better. Commercialism takes its stab, as always, but I think there's good reason to the deep desires everywhere to be NEW.
That's part of why I love New Years Resolutions. It so suits my personality.
After a year of actively battling perfectionism, the battle changes. And I keep battling because that's life. I'm a perfectionist, it's a well-known and in this case well-beloved fact, so I give myself the time at the beginning of a year to evaluate the battle and decide how to keep winning.

Last year, I needed better self-confidence after living with in-laws. A simple result of having less control over my surroundings and less solitude than I felt like I needed. I could have been with the prophet's family and still felt that way; I just want it to be clear that it was hard for me because of what it was (not living in my own home) and not because of the people I lived with (I LOVE my Wahlquist family).
My final grade? "A." Well, harp stuff pulls it down. But that's okay, I'm a softy when it comes to grading.
Living with the In-Laws: What a life lesson. Scratch that-- what the bazillion handfuls of life lessons! That's probably, oh, twenty posts on that subject. AT LEAST. The most obviously rewarding lesson on my mind: I appreciate my home so much that I honestly enjoy all my housework.
I did pretty poorly at practicing the harp. That's sad. It just is. Will that change? I certainly hope so. I'm formulating plans to make it change. Will it be with the 2011 Resolutions? Probably not.
I have been so much healthier this year. Michael and I committed ourselves to going to the gym and taking care of ourselves. I'm still a night owl by nature, I still like yummy treats, and I still convince myself not to go to the gym when I don't feel very good, but I'm far happier with myself. I haven't been to the gym very recently because...oh. Haha...I forgot to mention here that I'm pregnant. Oops! That's embarrassing. I mean, embarrassing that I forgot. *moment of silence to cover moment of oops* So, I still consider myself committed. I'm moving on; this one covers so much, and I'm already rambling.
Financially, we are so happy. That doesn't mean we're rich. We're students, for heaven's sake! But we can pay our bills, and we do. We follow our budget. HALLELUIAH.

That's last year! Now guess what? I've been thinking about "resolutiony" things since...oh, November? Maybe even October? There are some things I have felt really drawn to do. As in, I've felt a need to do these things, not just a desire. There's a reason I took some months to think about it all. I wanted to be sure, I wanted to be thoughtful.
I'm ready-- cut the drivel already, right? Why do I ramble?! Ugh.

We're going for little and somewhat specific here.

• Read every week from a spiritually inspiring book other than scriptures.
• Create something every month. Doodle, sew, craftify, DIY etc. Probably something that satisfies my artistic side. Growing a baby doesn't count. I mean it does, but not for this. ;)
• Exercise consistently to keep marathon goal close and plausible (I plan to run a marathon sometime late 2012, mostly for the sake of having a timeline to schedule against, but I'm not doing anything crazy while I'm pregnant...just keeping in shape). This will also help my pregnancy (and labor!) go better.
  
• Document the following of these goals! :) Yay! I won't give you a boring journal account of all my gym experiences. Please, no. But I will share my creations and any share-able spiritual insights. I'll at least tell you what book I'm reading (even if I'm in the same book all year).
  
  No grades this time, it's a do or don't. I'll just check it off my list when I've done it. With exercise, it's considered done if I go at least once a week, even though that's the low end. 

Ahhh. New Year, New Qait. I want to grow and learn! And have lots of fun! And have babies! WooHOO!

Of course, there are tons of things I hope do be doing this New Year. Being ambitious and perfectious, that's natural.
Don't you love that word? Perfectious. Yeah! That's going in the title.

Earth to Qait!

Michael was trying to talk to me while I read my book, and when I finally realized it, I had to remind him that he has to call my name first or I'll miss at least the first half of what he says.
Then, after our little conversation, I went back to my book.
Back into its world, completely immersed.
So much so that when I talked to Michael later, he grinned and asked if I'd heard his little speech...and I hadn't!
He said he tried a little experiment when I went back to reading. He spoke in a dull voice, like a bored horse-race announcer, and said "Kathryn Faith Wahlquist...I have spoken your name, yet you do not react..." (something like that, going on and on until he finished) "...this has been a message from Michael Wahlquist."
I missed it!
It made us laugh a lot, though, when he told me about it later.

By the way? The book that had me completely bound is called "The Maze Runner" by James Dashner. He's a Mormon author, not that it shows. And his style of writing is borderline for Deseret Book--they won't carry his sequel. But not for the same reasons they wouldn't carry the rest of the Twilight books. It's perhaps a bit graphic...well, yes, it is. It's very heavy material on the whole. The subject matter is comparable to Lord of the Flies at first, since it's a group of boys with no adult leader...but beyond that, it stands alone as a very original plot. Kind of post-apocalyptic, sci-fi in a very thought-provoking way. I loved it.