Naked also means wearing a robe/underwear, so don't get all awkward, guys.
But you know what? Either that means I need to check for sealing leaks on the bathtub (why do spiders like the shower? Don't they know it's a death trap for them?) or um...stop going around in my robe so much?
It all reminds me of a story my mom told me once about her mom, my grandma Bev. She had to pick up grandpa from work and hadn't gotten dressed yet that day (hallelujah, I'm not that weird). So she figured no one would notice her in a robe in the car.I think I imagined her in curlers, too, but that's probably just my overactive (wonderfully so) imagination adding flavor.Well, on the way, the car ran out of gas.Completely out.Grandma had to gas up the car! And boy was she embarrassed to stand around a gas station in her robe! She committed to never again make the same mistake, and she held to that promise.
A similar story? My mom didn't even remember where this came from, but it goes like this:
A woman wrote a book about her adventures as a housekeeper (before blogs came around otherwise I'm sure she'd be a blogger with the stories she told). One such story involved a big day of cleaning house while the kids were at school, and she just began collecting things from rooms as she made the rounds. She ran loads of laundry, too, and since she was home alone, she figured she'd just wash EVERYTHING. Including the clothes off her back.As she went from room to room gathering things, she ended up with her son's football helmet on her head as well as a few other paraphernalia I'd have to make up since I don't remember. But all that and NAKED.And then the meter man came to the door...and the worst part? She forgot she was NAKED.And she answered the door.OOPS.
But where do I fit in? I don't actually like to be naked, not completely. Not without...um, purpose (Gee, aren't we getting personal on blogger tonight?). Still, if I haven't showered yet, I feel very unmotivated to get dressed, because doing that seems to crush all my chances of showering ever in the day. You know the feeling? And sadly, showering is not always a guarantee. Especially if Michael uses all the hot water--no way am I taking a cold shower, I'd rather suffer the grease of my hair and the stench of my pits for something like a week! I think.
Another story! One time--and this was in college, when I was single and unmommified and therefore had gobs of time that are now just a dream which all adds up to the fact that I had no excuse for this story to exist--I was in my art class eavesdropping while I worked on a project, and a girl said to her boy admirers, "Oh my gosh! I haven't showered in, like, THREE DAYS!" and I just about laughed and said "Hey, me too!" before I realized she might be kidding. And me? I wasn't kidding. So I sat quietly and pretended I was only paying attention to my project.
I've tried lately to get dressed early in the day...even if it means getting dressed in ugly pajamas. At least before I had the decency to wear a ROBE, right? That wasn't always the case. I can't help but be mystified, though, by all those women who look the same every day! It's like showering is a necessity for them or something! (Hhahahha, I secretly make me laugh with my jokes). There could be an earthquake and hurricane and...tornado and tsunami and...uh, volcanic eruption in the woman's neighborhood that day and she's forced to use only food storage items and there's no running water and still somehow, her makeup and hair look the same.
Not that I'm jealous. I like to have variety. It's the grungey days that make the glamorous days so exciting, right? And I'd go crazy if I wore the same colors of makeup every day, that's just me. But like I said, I'm mystified! How does life work like that for them? What weird spell has been cast over their home to actually make every day include a shower and a continuous repeat of hair and face? Whoa....a little too much for my brain!
Whatever. I don't know that I'll ever discover the secret, but I'll work on that shower thing. Like actually taking one every morning, not just the spider solution.
And I'm a pretty well-rounded reader of blogs, so I KNOW I'm not an alien for taking less-than-daily showers. You can't make me feel ashamed. Besides, I don't miss quite as many showers as I make it seem. ;)